He said he couldn’t complain

I came out of the chip shop with a meat & potato pie, large chips, mushy peas & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sitting there said “I've not eaten for two days.” I told him, “I wish I had your will power! ​ I took my biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks and Romanian Gypsies" were not the correct answers. ​ A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunch time today. She said, “Sorry about the wait.” I said, “Don't worry dear. You might lose it eventually." ​ I walked past a black kid sitting at a bus stop, as I went into the bank. When I came out, he looked at me and said, “Any change?” I said “No, you're still black”. ​ Snow in the forecast! The TV weather girl said, she was expecting 8 inches tonight. I thought to myself, "Fat chance with a face like that!" ​ An Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man asks him,“What's wrong?” The boy says,“Me ma is dead”. “Oh bejaysus,"the man says. “Do you want me to call Father O'Riley for you?” The boy replies, “No tanks mister. Sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.” ​ Years ago it was suggested, that an apple a day kept the doctor away. But since all the doctors are now muslims, I've found that a bacon sandwich works better ! ​ Japanese scientists have created a camera with such an immensely fast shutter-speed, that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her mouth shut. ​ I had a Trivia Competition in the bag until the very last question....which I got wrong. The question was, "Where do women have the curliest hair?" Apparently the correct answer was Fiji. ​ A woman has a medical at the doctors. “You are grossly overweight,” he says. “I want a 2nd opinion,” she exclaims. “OK. You're bloody ugly as well.” ​ That should more or less cover everyone !

but Steve jobs named his company after the size of his tumor

Their last name

Because you are AuTiSTiC

I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car.

They bring out the kid in you.

To remind the niggers they were cotton pickers before they were drug dealers!

My dad didn’t beat cancer

She said they did unspeakable things to her.

...after their flight was delayed and they had to stay in Birmingham

Micheal Jackson’s hand

Their criminal record.

"Throw your laundry in!" The room went silent... Choking back the tears, I said, "My brother was an epileptic and died in the bath." "Oh my god I'm so sorry!" he said embarrassed. I said, "Yeah, he choked to death on a sock!"

The black kid because he's 20.

I'd like a medium Sprite with that.

sorry

Is it domestic violence or child abuse?

"Mad cow disease" was already taken.

To get the quarter back.

I depends on how many ash trays the car has

Cancer jokes get old after awhile.

Every time somebody calls, "B-29," they seem to disappear.

They asked me what is most commonly found inside cells. Turns out black people wasn't the right answer.

The hockey player showers after 3 periods.

Because he finally passed

I can finally use black people as currency again.

They’re all in my basement.

A few seconds later, a big load of fine ashes is poured down on Jacob and a deep voice from above roars, "Here you are, Jacob." Jacob looks down, then he looks up and shyly adds, "They also had gold teeth."